Once a Runner Part 4: To Infinity and Beyond

So. Here I am, it has been 11 weeks since my surgery….and next week, at the 12 week mark, I will be able to start “jogging” on the Alter-G treadmill.

It’s going to be a very VERY slow progression back to running. It’s been almost two years since I’ve been able to string together any decent training, and honestly I am in no rush (we all know rushing to get back in shape is a bad idea…).  So I’m going to start on the Alter-G ,which allows me to start running at, say, only half of my body weight. This means less impact, so I can get my muscles and nerves used to the motion of running again without risk of injury.

And then I’ll progress to adding more and more of my body weight…and then running at 100% of my body weight on a normal treadmill….and then…well….hopefuly getting back into the swing of things, slowly building back to running 5 days a week, building the amount of mileage I can do at once….and HOPEFULLY be back in the game soon.

You think I’d be excited, but in all honesty I am TERRIFIED to run again.

For one thing, I’m not sure I’m ready. I still have days where my hip hurts, and I haven’t really built up that good a base of stationary biking or walking.  I’m not sure I’m fit enough to start running (lol…I never, EVER thought I’d say that!). I’m not sure my pain levels are where they should be.  It doesn’t hurt all the time, and when it does get achy it’s never really bad, but.. ..??

Okay I suppose I should just ask my therapists instead of turning this question over and over in my head….right, typical Kate.

And then of course I’m worried about other injuries.  Obviously I’m not going to run injury-free for the rest of my life – I don’t expect that – but guys, I’ve already been under the knife  for a serious operation once. I don’t really want to go through that again. I’m TERRIFIED of getting hurt, and I’ll guiltily admit that a part of me is wondering if running is worth that.

Although, I think I ask that question because it’s been SO long since I ran injury-free and without much worry. I don’t remember what that’s like, and I can’t even imagine being back there again after this.

And THEN there’s my LEFT hip – which might hold up through my training, or it might need a more minor surgery. I don’t know. I haven’t been able to make a decision about what to do yet, all I know is I can’t have the surgery out here – I’m moving home next month.

So. okay. there are just so many thoughts going on in my mind as I prepare to take my first running steps soon.

Am I ready?

Do I remember how to do this?

Will I ever be back in the shape I was once in?

Will I get seriously hurt again?

Should I get another surgery before starting to run?

I think a lot of it is getting over fear, and the rest, well, if my therapists think I’m ready then I need to trust them.

I need to remember the good old days of running, remember that my body IS capable of this, and that I just need to work with some professionals (my therapists) on building a very VERY conservative plan for my return.

And I need to do a lot of praying! Whatever God has in store for me will be. I hope it’s running. I hope it’s racing. but there’s really only one way to find out…and that’s just to give it a shot when I feel ready.

Hopefully, “Once A Runner Part 5″ will be titled “Guess what…STILL a runner!”

Confessions

Okay I can’t lie – this is a really tough post for me to write, mostly because it’s kind of embarrassing.  I want to be that blogger that helps and inspires others, but sometimes…I just gotta reach out and say “I’m lost!”

I don’t even know where to start. But lately, I find myself worrying and freaking out about every.little.thing, especially health-related things. Interestingly enough, my hip is coming along great so that’s not even the issue.

A few random things have popped up lately and for some reason I find myself hyperventilating over them and convinced that the worst is happening.  For example: For the past week or so I’ve had this random pain in my side, like right underneath my armpit.  It doesn’t hurt when I breathe or with any specific motions, and it doesn’t always hurt – I’ll go a few days without pain and then a few days with, etc.  I’ve never really experienced anything like that. My mom of course is reassuring me that it’s nothing, that it’s probably a product of stress in some way, and that I really don’t need to freak out about it.

But of course I’m freaking out.

And then (warning: girly information here, read at your own risk), I went to the ob/gyn for my annual checkup (always such a fun time!) and found a small bump in my breast. Everyone is sure it’s a cyst, and I’m getting an ultrasound sometime this week or next to be sure, and everyone’s telling me not to panic.

But of course I’m panicking!

And THEN, this morning, I read an article about high levels of arsenic in rice. Okay, I never eat rice, but the article also mentioned that water, fruits, and vegetables also contain high levels.  Um.  FREAKING OUT!!! Oh my god what if my side pain/breast bump thing are linked because I eat fruits and veggies and drink water? And what about my inhaler and my birth control prescriptions, should I not take those anymore?? Omg I should just stop eating and drinking all together and go live in a sterile bubble!!

Okay, now you all think I’m batshit crazy I’m sure.  And I’ll be honest, I don’t know how much of my concern is genuine and how much is just….I don’t even know?

Why am I suddenly freaking out about these things? Why am I thinking thoughts like “what if I get sick and die??”

People like me shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like that.  I’m 23 years young. I eat healthy. I exercise. I don’t smoke. I rarely drink.  I don’t have family history of anything. My immune system is killer, i only get sick once every 18 months or so.

People like me probably don’t think thoughts like that very often.  SO why am I suddenly freaking out over everything?

Is it because I’ve suddenly realized that hey, my life is awesome, I am awesome, and I don’t want to lose that?

Is it because of all the other things in my life that I’m worried about, and I’m just projecting?

And, more importantly, how can I CALM THE FUCK DOWN and stop thinking like this?  I mean, for one thing, stress does ZERO good things for the body and two, worry gets you absolutely nowhere.

So…okay, I really just had to get that off my chest.  I really need your help – if you’ve got any advice, it will be MUCH appreciated!

Thoughts on a Sunday

No rhyme or reason to this post….just a collection of recent happenings and things I’m thinking about lately!

1. I know you’re probably sick of hearing about the weather….but let me bitch for just two seconds….

IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE 20 DEGREES (F) AND SNOWING AT THE END OF MARCH!!!!!!! I dunno about you all, but here in Colorado Springs….January was lovely (in the 50s and sunny all month), February was slightly less lovely, and the beginning of March was AWESOME – I wore shorts a few days! And then boom, I come back from Florida and it’s snowin and freezing and disgusting. Welcome home, huh? But seriously. I am SO over winter. It’s my least favorite season, I get some serious S.A.D….I’m so so ready for spring.

take me back…..

2. Today I went to church for the first time since moving out here. While my mom was out here taking care of me, she’d found a lovely little Lutheran church just up the street from my apartment so I decided to venture out there for Palm Sunday.  Trying to reconnect with the whole faith thing…I’ve fallen off the wagon quite a bit. Anyway, these people were ridiculously welcoming – I don’t think I’ve ever recieved so much attention in my life! It was really lovely, although there was no one even close to my age there. Oh well, that brings me to my next point….

3. It looks as though I’ll PROBABLY be moving home in about a month – my mom is coming out April 21st and we’ll begin the longass drive across the country…..and hopefully be home by April 26.  I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand, I love Colorado and don’t want to leave….on the other hand, I’m hella homesick.

Colorado State throws a wrench in there, though. If I’m accepted and decide to go (I need to make a decision in a week, so I’ll be calling them on Monday to find out), then it’d be WAYYYY more practical to get a hotel for a week, find an apartment, and just move all my stuff up to Fort Collins. You know. three hour drive versus five days. But I’d still probably want to come home for a period of time during the summer.

Fort Collins looks pretty sweet!

4. Yeah grad school. Still weighing heavily on my mind, but believe me I am SO incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to make this decision.  I’ve pretty much been accepted everywhere I’ve applied (and have yet to hear from Colorado State, Penn State, UNC Greensboro, and Springfield College), so it’s a huge honor to even HAVE this problem (and believe me, I have been in the opposite situation – not getting in anywhere – so I really do know.)

But so far, I’ve narrowed it down to UVA and U Florida.  I loved Miami but the fact that 1. they’re not giving me $$ and 2. the area is so congested and too big-city for me and 3. the program is great but not significantly better than the other schools….I have to chuck it.  U. Mass Amherst is also out because they’re requiring me to commit to ONE line of research and I’m totally not ready to do that yet. So….if anyone wants to help me and make a case for UVA or UF….holla…

5. Surgery recovery Update time!  Well, it’s been about 10.5 weeks, and I’m coming along pretty well. I can more or less walk as much as I want without pain, and my stationary bike “workouts” have been pretty pain-free for the most part. I still have bad days but I’ve been instructed to “push through it if your pain is below a 5″ (on a scale from 1-10 where 1 is nothing and 10 is you’re asking to be euthanized)…so that’s what I’ve been doing. Today I was on the bike for 42 minutes with resistance, pain free!! Oh and I CLIMBED THE STAIRS. lol. Today was quite victorious for me.

Anyway I’ve got a lot of thoughts and mixed feelings about recovery but I think that’s material for another post since there’s so much to say…..

6. I just had this moment of realization, after updating you all on my life, that….my life is hella boring.  Hmmph.  Seeing as I’ll be either living at home or living in Fort Collins in about a month, there’s very little time to find something long-term to spice things up….I guess I’ll have to start planning something for the summer!

7.  Look at this wonderful Christian – themed easter cookie cake I found at the grocery store last week! Perfect for the kids….hahahahahaha yes I have the maturity of a twelve year old.

8. Stay tuned this week for…..

more surgery recovery updates and/or “Once a Runner Part 4″

the complicated story of my academic life

A peek into my kitchen

general life musings that I had thought of earlier and am now blanking on…..

any random thoughts you’d like to share with me today?

It’s Easy as 1 2 3

Oh come on, you knew I was going to fill this out. It’s Survey Saturday! And as usual, here I am at work….killing time. One more hour of my shift left! Good thing too, I’m HUNGRY.

a: age – 23..holy crap I am OLD. I’ll be 24 in a month!

b: bed size – QUEEN bitches. I sleep in a double at home, but here at my fully furnished apartment in COS, I get a queen. I only sleep on one side of it, but a twin bed just feels claustrophobic to me for some reason. And if you’re wondering…I can’t tell the difference between a queen and a double…probably because I still only sleep on  one side haha)

c: chore you dislike – taking out the trash.  Trash just grosses me the eff out.

d: dogs- love them! Probably my favorite animal (I know that’s kind of boring). I’ve always owned a dog – Leo is my current companion, a German Shepherd/Chow mix. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but he’s a cutie.

e: essential to your day – coffee first thing in the morning, water through the rest of the day (my water bottle goes EVERYWHERE with me), and chapstick.

f: favorite color ah this is a tough one. I love yellow, blue, and green, but I couldn’t pick a favorite out of the three!

g: gold or silver . gold. I’m not picky with my jewelry to be honest, I’ll wear either, but gold definitely looks better on me. And I like bright sparkly things haha

h: height – you mean lack of?  I’m 5’2.  My entire family is short though so at least I’ve got company. Just call me shawty?

i: interesting fact - I’m perpetually cold all the time.  When I was home for Christmas, I wore my down jacket inside the house because I was just so cold. I sleep in long pants and about four blankets, and I always have a heatable rice sock on me.  Fail. Okay maybe I should just go to school in Florida lol.

j: job title - That’s an excellent question, i don’t really have a formal one.  I call myself “Endurance Sports Club Personnel” because I  teach the indoor cycling classes and coordinate the scheduling for that.

k: kids – uh none yet haha. I love kids though (I’m a great babysitter!), so I definitely plan on having them. When I’m married. And have money. lol. 

l: live – currently in Colorado Springs, CO! But my “home” is in the Philadelphia suburbs.

that’s my beautiful city!

m: mom’s name -Nina.  Maiden name Vassallo, proof of my Sicilian-ness. 

visiting the dinosaur museum in Woodland Park, CO….except we only stopped there to take exactly this picture with the giant dino’s outside….typical us!

n: nicknames – technically “Kate” is a nickname, my given name is Kathryn (but no one calls me that, ever). My family likes to call me “Kate the Great” too, and in high school my friends called me “Special K” (yes…I’m aware that that’s a euphemism for a street drug…), but that’s pretty much it.

o: overnight hospital stays – zero.  I’ve only been hospitalized twice: once for a broken finger when I was nine, and once this past January for my surgery. Surgery was a total of about….I dunno like 8 hours, including pre-op, the 2-hour operation, and the four hours I slept in post-op.

p: pet peeves – Oh I have tons. I guess to name a few: 1. people who use facebook and twitter to complain (we all do it, but I mean those people that post like three negative status updates in one day) 2. People who always try to outdo you and make the conversation all about them and 3. SLOW WALKERS AND DRIVERS.  Move, bitch, get out the way!

q: quote from a movie - “Rodents of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist”. BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

r: righty or lefty - righty!

s: sibling - just one, little sis Carolyn! She’s 21, almost 22 – so two years younger than me. We used to hate each other with a fiery passion, but now we’re friends

Trying to control the beast.

t: time you wake up whenever I need to I guess? Lately it’s between 7 and 8, but if I have to be at work at 9 then I like to get my workout in beforehand – so when I’m healthy and training, I wake up around 5:45. I really hate working out in the afternoons, so, yeah, I’ll wake up early.
u: underwear I wear it……most of the time….. LOL kidding. and only Victoria’s Secret. That’s literally the only kind I own. Sorry i’m not sorry.

v: vegetables you don’t like haha a lot of them…namely broccoli, cauliflower, any kind of peppers, onions, beets, and parsnips. GROSS.

w: what makes you run late everything…I’m always a little bit late to everything, definitely something I’m working on.  Mostly it happens when I, um, extend my workout a bit too much….and also picking out an outfit. Those two combined are automatic late-kate-makers.x: xrays you’ve had - teeth (obviously), pinkie finger (broke it at the growth plate when I was nine), shins, inside of my right ankle, knees, both hips. I’ve also had four MRI’s – one on that right ankle, regular MRI on my left hip, and MRI Arthrograms on both hips. Man, I’m a mess aren’t I lol??

y: yummy food you make – I’ve got a good Sicilian background, which means I make some badass manicotti, baked ziti, pasta norma, pasta alla vodka…..i could go on….but now I’m hungry.

Ravioli in the making!

z: zoo animal favorite – Oooh that’s tough! I haven’t been to a zoo in ages. But I always really loved the otters and sea lions! And of course the big cats, in an “I’m terrified you’ll leap over the fence and eat me” kind of way \\

Share some of your answers with me! Do we have anything in common?

Miami/Ft. Lauderdale Recap

…..remember me? It’s certainly been awhile lol, but hey, I’m generally not one to blog while on a whirlwind vacation

Anyway, so for those of you who don’t know, from Sunday through Wednesday this week I went to visit the University of Miami, where I’ve recently been accepted to graduate school for Exercise Science and Sport Studies.  It was a bit of a last minute trip, but as it happens my mom had been down in Fort Myers (about 2 hours away) visiting my Nonno and Reba, so she drove down to Miami to see the U with me! (and thank god….Miami is a HUUUUGE city and I think I would have been scared shitless to go alone!)  We couldn’t get a hotel in Miami, so we stayed in Fort Lauderdale – about 30 minutes north. It was kind of nice, going into the big city but also staying in a laid-back, beachy town.

I’ll let the pictures do the talking, and then give you an overall summary of what I thought of the graduate school!

Monday Morning Sunrise – view of the Ft. Lauderdale Marina from our hotel room!

Pasion Del Cielo – an AWESOME coffee shop in downtown Coral Gables (the small town where campus was). I had an iced Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee blended with almond milk and brown sugar!

The other view from our hotel – Ft. Lauderdale Beach!

Call me a biology nerd but Evolution is just fascinating to me.

Dinner and drinks al fresco – Mom had Hawaiian Pizza and I had the house salad with chicken and roasted potatoes!

Another dinner-al-fresco scene

So….this is the U. Miami campus. LIKE ACTUALLY. So crazy right??

Dinner at the Raw Bar on Miracle Mile! (and no….a raw bar is not raw vegan food….it’s like, clams on the half-shell kind of raw. But both of us ate cooked fish lol)

SO. Overall, I loved the U.Miami campus. Gorgeous, and it’s actually not that big of a school – which is a good thing when your’e coming from William and Mary! The Exercise Science department was also AWESOME – the professors (I met two) were all so welcoming, and the research that’s going on is not only fascinating, but highly varied – also good for someone who doesn’t quite know exactly what aspect of ex.phys she wants to focus on.  The surrounding area, Coral Gables and Coconut Grove, is also gorgeous.

The downsides? Rent is HELLA EXPENSIVE. Miami is not only a huge city but it feels really cramped and congested…there’s just sooo many people and not a lot of space.  I do kinda prefer open areas.  And lastly (and worstly), they’re giving me zero monies. Which kind of blows, I mean I know I’m going to have to take out a loan regardless but at least an assistantship would help….

Anyways. So I’m not completely sold on it but I’m also not ruling it out. This is going to be a REALLY TOUGH decision.  At the moment, it’s between U. Miami, University of Florida, University of Virginia, and UMass Amherst. I’m also still waiting to hear from Colorado State, Penn State, and UNC Greensboro. Whew!

But in any case, probably the best part about this trip was that I got to see my mom for four days! Nothing beats that when you live so far away from home!

Tell me about your last vacation!

 

Once a Runner: Part 3

Graduating from William & Mary was a HUGE stress relief. College, while awesome, was really tough (especially the last semester of my senior year – I broke up with the guy I was dating, had a mini eating-disorder relapse, and was taking way more classes than I wanted).  But thankfully, I graduated and had been accepted to pursue a Masters of Science in Human Foods and Nutrition at North Carolina State. I was home free for the summer!

And so, I decided I wanted to make running more of a focus in my life.  I was very much a run-for-the-sake-of-running person in college – I ran 5-6 days a week without fail, usually in the morning. It set the tone for the rest of the day, allowed me to shake off the stress of school and be able to sit in class all day without getting jittery. On the weekends I ran long, over an hour. But I raced very infrequently. And when I did race, I never formally trained for it. I just ran.

But over that summer I decided I wanted to see where I could take my running if I got more serious about it. If I picked a goal race and trained for it. Upped my mileage. Started doing formal speed work. This was mainly brought about by two people I met in mid-may, both professional marathoners – both who thought that, with formal training – I could eventually run an olympic-trials qualifying time in the marathon.

I didn’t come up with that idea myself, but it grew on me, and I figured, why not? Why not see how far I can go, see how good I can be?

And I began my journey.  I upped my mileage. I started speed work. I started strength training.

Unfortunately, I started all of these things at the same time…..EPIC FAIL! And towards mid-July, I ended up with a sharp pain in my foot. I crosstrained like HELL – two hours a day – but after six weeks, the pain was still there. So I got an MRI, and good news – it turned out to just be tendonitis!

That thing cleared up with two weeks of physical therapy, and by mid-september I was back on the roads.

And three weeks later, I was back at 35 miles a week (when my previous max had been only 50). EPIC FAIL AGAIN! The foot pain came back.  And this time, it took until JANUARY to get it to subside.

By the time I was back to running 3 miles four days a week (and also crosstrainning two to three hours a day on top of that), I suddenly experienced a sharp pain at the front of my hip. Boom. sidelined again.

February, March, April, May, June, July, August. I tried everything – Active release therapy. Physical therapy. Combining the two. It worked, and I could finally cycle pain-free, but I could never get back to running. In August, I had an MRI Arthrogram (the same study I had last week, with the huge-ass needle) that showed a labral tear.

But unfortunately, my doctor didn’t see a tear – he saw “fraying” and told me that surgery was NOT an option and that I should continue with therapy.  I was upset and felt like I STILL didn’t have an answer….but oh well, I was all set to move to Colorado.

Once I got out here, I was honestly exhausted by the previous year, and decided that I really needed to just STOP trying to get back to running for awhile. RIding my bike didn’t hurt, so I did that for months. And, I’ll be honest, it got me into the best shape I’ve ever been in. But by November, I was missing running. I was realizing that, yeah, cycling is fun….but I’m not passionate about it.  I don’t feel the same way about it that I do about running.

I am a runner. And I don’t care if I never race again….I wanted another shot at being able to step out the door and go for a run every day.  SO I took the MRI to another doctor.

Dr. Huang looked at the MRI and saw a pretty big labral tear, and told me that if I wanted to run again, or really continue being a competitive athlete, this surgery was not optional.  And so of course I decided to go through with it. After all, my suspicions had been growing that this surgery was what I needed – a few of my friends (who are also competitive runners, one of them a professional) have had this surgery with great success.  The decision to go under the knife was a no-brainer.

And so here I am. It has been 9 weeks since my operation, and I am on the mend.  But I’m not done yet.  I’ve been thinking a LOT about what I am going to do with my life once I’m all rehabbed……and so I think I’ll conclude my Once a Runner series with those musings later this week.

Randoms on a Wednesday

To give you all a break from hearing about my running, I’m going to…..tell you other random things about myself? sure why not! A few days ago, Mary nominated me for the One Lovely Blog award, so here I am with 7 random facts about myself.

1. I am ALL about retail therapy.  I know it’s bad….I should have other ways to calm my stress levels. But honestly nothing works quite like shopping does! I’ve been under a LOT of stress lately and therefore….I’ve also spent a lot of time and ca$hmoney$s at Target.

Ok so I did actually need shampoo….but yeah, I bought a TON of stuff I didn’t need…

2. My biggest pet peeve in the world right now: “oh my god, I took [a week, two weeks, five days] off from working out, I am SOO OUT OF SHAPE! Um…okay I’m sorry but fuck you. No you’re not. For one thing, cardiovascular fitness doesn’t begin to deteriorate until two weeks off from training, and even then it only decreases by about 10% each week.  For another….TRY NINE WEEKS, OKAY??? then do a workout and tell me how shitty you feel about yourself. *note – I don’t mean “fat” – I didn’t really gain any weight. I mean my cardiovascular fitness, which is very much a use-it-or-lose-it thing for everyone.

Okay sorry….I know it’s important to not minimize other peoples’ fears and feelings and problems, and believe me I’ve been that girl, but I just hate when people complain about losing fitness after a really short time period, because they really have no idea what they’re talking about and, honestly don’t know how good they have it (and yes, when you bitch about that it does just kinda make me feel even worse about my current state of fitness).

3. Okay rant over, moving on to more random facts. I love music.  In particular I am a HUGE classic rock fan – think Queen, Def Leppard, Van Halen, The Beatles, Journey etc. But I also like stuff with a great dance beat, like Calvin Harris’s stuff (omg his new song with Florence Welch….amazing).  Alternative rock is also good, Jimmy Eat World is one of my favorite bands…..and I also have a thing for gangsta rap. I mean, I’m from Philly….

4. In addition to running and cycling there are lots of other sports that I’m pretty skilled at but don’t get to do very often. Namely, cross-country skiing, downhill skiing, kayaking, and backpacking. What can I say, I love me some outdoors!

5. I keep a running list of places in the world that I want to visit someday. Here are my top 5, excluding Paris, London, and Sicily – all of which I’ve been to but ADORED and really want to go back:

1. Australia

2. South Africa

3. Greece

4. Turkey

5. Spain and Portugal

6. If I get a song stuck in my head, I will sing it out loud in front of everyone.  Over Christmas break I couldn’t get “Africa” out of my head, so I walked around the house randomly busting out “I bless the rains down in aaaaaaaafricaaaa!”.  My family loved it.  I totally sing in the shower, and in my car….I even caught myself humming at the grocery store the other day, FAIL.

7. I love to put together outfits and dress up.  I know for some this often feels like a chore (and after a long week I am totally with you, all I wanna do is throw on pajamas), but for me it’s an outlet for my creativity and it makes me feel good about myself!

I’m on the left….that’s one of my favorite dresses EVER

OKay! So that’s a random little bit about me…….now it’s your turn!  Honestly I think this blog survey has been around for a couple years now, so I’m just going to say, if yall haven’t filled it out, do so! Or at the very least, tell me some random facts about yourself in the comments

Once a Runner Part 2: The College Years

When I left off in part 1, I was just falling in love with running, just beginning to consider running not only a part of my life, but a part of ME….and I was headed off to begin my freshman year at Bates College.

(Yes, I did graduate from William and Mary – someone requested I write a post about my academic journey and I definitely plan on doing that since it was a huge part of my life!)

Anyway. For those of you who don’t know, Bates is a very small, VERY FRIGGIN EXPENSIVE private liberal arts college in southeastern Maine. Seem random? Well, it was my dad’s and my uncle’s alma mater, and I had a cousin there in her junior year at the time, and they gave me a pretty decent scholarship. William and Mary hadn’t accepted me so Bates it was!

Bates was also a Division III athletics school that didn’t give athletic scholarships.  I’m not exactly sure what got this idea in my head, but I decided to see if I could walk on to the cross country and track teams.  I met with the coach, and that was that!

I practiced with the XC team all fall, but wasn’t allowed to race. Finally, during the indoor season, my coach decided I was ready to be a “real” member of the team, and I started racing.  I raced the 3k indoor, which didn’t go too great for me – I never broke 11 minutes, so my coach and I decided to move up in distance, and I ran the 5k for the rest of the season.  Now THAT was my jam – I ran my first-ever 5k in 19:51, and was only one of two freshmen to run sub-20. In my first race! I topped off the indoor season with a 19:34 PR, good enough for 3rd place at New Englands.

Outdoor track did not go as well for me. Sure, I continued to race well, PR-ing in the 5k at 19:16 and in the 10k at 39:55 again at New Englands. And let me tell you, for a girl who only started running a year prior to that…that’s HUGE.  But I was SO unhappy at Bates – I just didn’t fit in well socially, and had spent most of the early part of the semester applying to transfer. The stress and unhappiness were wearing on me, and I was tired. But I’d come to love being part of the team at Bates. I loved the girls, loved the camraderie. I loved racing, I loved having a coach, and I’d seen so much improvement in my running since the beginning of the year.

But, when William and Mary accepted me, the choice was obvious.  Running for a team was not worth spending the next four years MISERABLE, and so of course I was going to transfer.

I met with the William and Mary coach, Kathy Newberry (who is also a pretty good professional track and field racer – look her up!) about possibly running for the Tribe, although I hadn’t been recruited.  She told me that the jump to D1 was going to be HUGE and that there was a possibility I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the speed or much less the training volume – BUT, that because I’d been running for only a very short time, I had a lot of potential. SO, there was nothing to lose by trying out!

I trained hard all summer. I got up to about 60 miles a week, folowed Coach Newb’s plan to a T.  I showed up for the first couple practices, and quickly realized that I was WAYYYY out of my league. These girls were FAST – we’re talking 15 minute 5k’s to my 19 minutes, and 80-90 miles a week. Oof. I was also hell-bent on going to med school after college, and quickly discovered that I wouldn’t be able to handle both a hefty academic load AND a hefty training load.

Or more like, sure I could handle it, but I woiuldn’t excel at either. And I knew that if I wanted a shot at med school, running for a team had to go.

Was it a tough decision? OF COURSE.  All through college there were times where I totaly missed running for a team, wondered if I’d made a huge mistake, questioned the life I’d chosen. But looking back, it was totally worth it.  I did VERY well academically, though I never ended up applying to med school.  I joined a sorority. I made the best friends of my entire life, girls that will be my bridesmaids probably.

And I still ran.  I ran however I felt like running. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Sometimes trails, sometimes road. Sometimes 30 miles a week, sometimes 50 miles a week. I didn’t race often, but did a total of four half marathons, ending up with a PR of 1:33 at the Richmond Half Marathon in 2010, and, later, a 10k PR of 39:50 at a local road-race in my hometown summer of 2011.

All in all, I’m glad I didn’t commit to running Division I.  I don’t think I would have been anywhere near one of the best runners. At Bates, as a freshman, I was one of the best, and I liked placing in every single meet. At William and Mary, I would have been dead last at every meet.  And so by opting against the team, I was able to run how my body wanted to, run WELL, never get injured the entire four years of college….and also have the college experience of my dreams. Running was a HUGE part of me and how I defined myself, but I wasn’t obsessed with it – that’s how it should be.

Next up: My plans for post-collegiate running…..and how they fell through.

*note – all of the pictures of my races at Bates are saved to my parents’ desktop computer at home. Because my laptop is only a year old I don’t have any of the photos loaded on here….sorry. Maybe I’ll give you a photo dump when I move back home! although it WAS about five years ago lol….

 

BREAKING NEWS!

Okay so I know I told you guys I was going to get on with my Once a Runner series and have part 2 today. BUT, there have been recent developments that I have to update you on, so, um, that totally takes precedence .

First…...I GOT MY MRI RESULTS BACK!

….and they were, overall, a RELIEF.

There is NO labral tear or detatchment, so surgery isn’t absolutely necessary like it was with my right hip. PHEW!

However, it wasn’t a pristine clean MRI.  There is a bit of bruising and fraying, and my surgeon said either one of two things could happen with that:

1. The symptoms will go away with therapy or

2. We’re catching it before it detatches.

SO my options, therefore, are

1. Continue with therapy for my right leg, and also work my left side in the same way (but probably do so at home, I’m already at PT for like two hours as it is….but most of the stuff is bilateral anyway). See how the left hip behaves as I ramp up my training volume….or….

2. Repair it immediately so as to ensure against future tearing/detatchment.  This repair would be a much shorter recovery time (similar to a knee scope….like maybe 1-2 months) because you don’t have to wait for the labrum to reattatch to the bone in the healing process.

My surgeon wants me to just see how therapy goes, and I agree with him for now – I’m not healed enough from the first operation to have a second. HOWEVER, he thinks I might not EVER need surgery….and he is not a runner. I’m fairly certain that if I resume my running training and get back into racing, well, it’s going to tear. So honestly, in order to avoid another six-month break in training,  (and obviously to avoid doing more serious damage to my hip….duh….), I’d opt for having the quick-and-easy repair done ASAP.

HOWEVER I know there’s room for me to wait – I could easily have it done over winter break my first year of grad school, or wait until I move home and have it done later this spring. It’s not an immediate necessity like it was with my right hip, but I also want to just get all these hip problems over with, you know?

BUT in any case, I have a long time to think and I don’t need to make any decisions right away. Overall, it’s pretty good news in comparison to my right hip!

Now, on to the fun part…..

1. I got invited to visit the UMass Amherst Campus! This is basically like an acceptance, the professor I spoke to said the visit is more for ME than for her and that if I end up being a good fit, she’d take me. Yay! Her research is in the cause of muscle fatigue and her work is very biochemical, but she also studies populations of humans and it’s all done in-vivo. Cool stuff!

and 2. I GOT ACCEPTED AT UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI!!!! this was one of my absolute top choice so I’m SUPER excited.  I see a tour of Florida in my future! Here I’d be working with a professor that studies metabolism in endurance sports AND the effects of altitude training on endurance – he even has an altitude-lab here in Colorado Springs! way way WAY cool!!!

So my friends, on my way home from work I will be visiting the liquor store for a sixpack of microbrews – this calls for a celebration!!

Survey Sunday

Hello! So I saw this survey on Hollie’s blog….and I can’t resist a survey, because it gives me a structure for telling you random things about myself. Who doesn’t like to talk about themselves right?   (fear not, Once a Runner Part 2 will be coming tomorrow!)

What did you eat for breakfast?

A whole mess of stuff lol…blackberries, grapes, flax seed, Fage 0% plain greek yogurt, a little bit of almond butter, and a new-to-me cereal, Vans Gluten-Free Honey Nut Crunch.  It tasted good but I felt pretty sick for a few hours afterward…not sure whether it was the food or just something not right with me.

kind of like this but with somewhat different mixins

How much water do you drink a day?

Uh…a lot?  One cup of coffee in the morning, one to three cups of green tee in the afternoon, two cups of peppermint tea in the evenings….and a few nalgenes in between.  Some people think I drink too much but I basically drink to thirst and….do the urine test.

What is your current favorite workout?

LOL this is a mean-spirited question at the moment….um….the 30 minutes I get to be on the stat bike, or the 10  minutes I get to walk on the Alter-G…but I wouldn’t call either of those a workout.

That said, I’m recovering from surgery, I’m not really supposed to be burning mad calories and sweating my life away.  When I do train though, I like 1. running and 2. riding my road bike.  I prefer to run OUTDOORS and I prefer to ride my bike on the trainer (because I’m terrified of crashing lol….so lame).

How many calories do you eat a day?

Well, like I said right now I’m not training at all so probably between 1600-1900 – some days I’m hungrier than others (if that sounds like a small amount to you, I’m 5’2 and 100 pounds – I don’t need as much food as taller people). When I do train though, I probably eat between 2000-3000 and that’s for either running 40-50 miles a week or for cycling 10 hours a week.

*I do track my calories every few days – i’m not saying that’s a healthy thing to do, I’m just admitting it to you. But honestly my hunger levels aren’t the same every day. So some days, when training, I’ll only want to eat 1800ish and then the next day I might want 3200ish. There’s no set number I have to reach or stay under every single day.

What are your favorite healthy snacks?

Pop chips, popcorn, clementines, strawberries, those Chobani Bites things, those Nut Thin cracker things….okay so I like my citrus fruits and processed carbs I guess LOL….

 What do you usually eat for lunch?

Real easy:  greens (either kale or spinach), avocado, tomato chunks, another veggie (asparagus, zucchini etc), a grain (usually quinoa, sometimes brown rice or amaranth or black rice), and shredded deli chicken all mixed up with a liberal amount of mustard (my fave condiment haha).  This is really easy to pack in a tupperware container for when I’m at work, or to throw together when I don’t get home from PT until like 1:15.

 What is your favorite body part to strength train?

Definitely my core.  I’m not allowed to do any core work just yet though….can’t wait to get my abs back!

What is your least favorite body part to strength train?

Probably my arms. I build muscle in my arms really easily and I’ve always been self-conscious about them looking bulky…so I usually just do 50 pushups and call it a day (in sets of ten, I’m not a marine or anything lol)

What are your “bad” food cravings?

french fries and froyo.  I never ever get french fries, but froyo I get on occasion. I wouldn’t call it “bad” except that I am lactose intolerant….so eating froyo or ice cream actually makes me feel like total shit for about two days. But sometimes I can’t resist.

so good….but it makes me feel so bad….

Do you take vitamins or supplements?

Women’s Multi, Calcium, and in the winter I take vitamin D as well.

How often do you eat out?

Oh basically never. I live by myself and don’t have many friends so I really never go out to eat in CO.  At home I usually go out with a friend or with my parents once a month or so.  Oh unless Whole Foods counts…I eat there on the regular!

Panera was a favorite in my pre-gluten-intolerance days

12. Do you eat fast food?

Nope.  It skeeves me out big time. I like Wendy’s Frosty and Shamrock Shakes though, but I can’t justify getting them alone – it’s the kind of thing I’d rather get with friends which doesn’t happen often.  On road trips I pack my own meals!

and if you’re gonna get a frosty, you have to dip some a fry or two in it!

(it’s not just about the skeeve factor either – being both allergic to gluten and lactose intolerant, there’s very little I can actually eat at conventional fastfood restaurants that will satisfy me and it’s hard as shit to eat a salad while you’re driving…)

13. Who is your biggest supporter?

My mom and dad obviously! And my best friends Meredith, Sydney, and Erin.

Mom and Dad at my William and Mary Graduation

Meredith and I a few nights before my graduation

14. Do you have a gym membership?

Yep! I’ve had one since senior year of high school (read my last post about how I used to dance 6 hours a day….no time or need for a gym), I go to LA Fitness at home (hate it) and the YMCA here in CO Springs….oh and I work at a place with indoor cycling CompuTrainers that I can ride my bike on fo FREE.

This is pretty much exactly what my LA Fitness at home looks like

But when I’m healthy and running, I never use the gym membership….maybe I should crosstrain more though and maybe NOT get injured?

15. How many hours of sleep do you get each night?

In my normal life, 7-8.  In my current surgery -recovery life, I get 8-9 hours of sleep and take an hour long nap every afternoon. I know that makes me sound hella lazy but I do it on purpose – your body only actually makes physical repairs when you’re in stage four of the sleep cycle. Ok sorry I’ll stop before I get too far into nerd-land.

16. Do you have a “cheat” day?

Uh no lol.  I do tend to avoid eating and drinking things that make me feel sick or make me feel bad about myself, but sometimes I do “splurge” (I’m MUCH more liberal with my eating when I can actually exercise). But no I don’t have an entire day where I go batshit crazy on foods that make me feel bad.

even homemade pizza sometimes has me a little on-edge….I’m working on it.

17. Do you drink alcohol?

YEP.  I drank about 2-3 nights a week in college and now I have the occasional beer or glass of wine. I’m not so much a fan of wine, but I love microbrews! I haven’t had a beer in a long time though because, as with a lot of things, I don’t like to drink by myself. Gotta have a friend.

“Do you drink alcohol”….ahaha do I drink alcohol. 32 ounces of beer right here.

18. Do you have a workout buddy?

Nope, I’m a lone wolf. I kind of like it that way.

19. What is the best thing that has changed about your life since committing to a healthy lifestyle?

Like I mentioned in my last post, running is an incredibly empowering thing for me.  A lot of things in life tear you down, but running builds me up and gives me confidence. Regardless of my weight, cardio exercise (be it the bike or running or the elliptical) and healthy eating have really boosted my confidence over the years.

20. What was the last healthy thing you did?

……I clorox-wiped my bathroom sink.

answer any of these questions for me!